♥♥ This Is My Journey~ Alhamdulillah~ Wasyukurilah :) ♥♥

As'salammualaikum Dear Sweethearts~ :)

How have you all been dear loves? :) I truly pray that each one of you are doing well and that life has been treating you with nothing but full of happiness & love *In Shaa ALLAH* :)

I know that most of you dear ones must be wondering why am I suddenly always absent here and especially at FB :) Well truth to be told sweeties, I've been actually going through some lil bumpy rides :) I'm sharing here today with all you sweethearts with no intention at all to seek for your sympathy but purely to share some of my experiences that I've faced  thus so far & in hope that it might in some ways help those whom are facing similar situations as well *In Shaa ALLAH* :)

I'm writing here today to share my recent experience which I am quite sure that most of you sweethearts might not know that I was actually hospitalized last 15th of April 2013. Many of my dearest loves whom follows me on my Instgram (yes, dear loves, I am really much more active on Instagram lately *guilty*) however would have known that I had to undergo for a surgery but not many actually knows of the reason why I had to undergo for the operation :) I initially had doubts whether or not to share the reason however, after much thoughts I came to a realization that I need to share this in hope that all the others whom might be facing the same situation would be able to face it with much strength & full faith in ALLAH TAALA~ *In Shaa ALLAH* Aamiin*

Allow me to kindly remind you sweeties again to please do not pity me nor feel sad for what had happened to me as I believe that Alhamdulillah ALLAH SWT had written a Great plan for us all~ :) In Shaa ALLAH~ 

My journey started last 11th of April 2013 when I went to visit the gynecology and there the Specialist  Doctor had detected a 3.71cm of endometriosis :) For those whom are wondering what endometriosis is, well it is a condition resulting from the appearance of endometrial tissue outside the uterus and causing pelvic pain. 

Every month, a woman's ovaries produce hormones that tell the cells lining the uterus (womb) to swell and get thicker. The body removes these extra cells from the womb lining (endometrium) when we get our menstrual.

If these cells (called endometrial cells) implant and grow outside the uterus, endometriosis results. The growths are called endometrial tissue implants. Women with endometriosis typically have tissue implants on the ovaries, bowel, rectum, bladder, and on the lining of the pelvic area. They can occur in other areas of the body, too.

Unlike the endometrial cells found in the uterus, the tissue implants outside the uterus stay in place when we get our period. They sometimes bleed a little bit. They grow again when we get our next period. This ongoing process leads to pain and other symptoms of endometriosis.

The cause of endometriosis is unknown. One theory is that the endometrial cells shed when we get our period travel backwards through the fallopian tubes into the pelvis, where they implant and grow. This is called retrograde menstruation. This backward menstrual flow occurs in many women, but researchers think the immune system may be different in women with endometriosis.

Endometriosis is common. Sometimes, it may run in the family. Although endometriosis is typically diagnosed between ages 25 - 35, the condition probably begins about the time that regular menstruation begins.

A woman who has a mother or sister with endometriosis is much more likely to develop endometriosis than other women. We are more likely to develop endometriosis if we:

• Started our period at a young age
• Never had children
• Have frequent periods or they last 7 or more days
• Closed hymen, which blocks the flow of menstrual blood during the period

Hence after explaining the above, the doctor had advised me to immediately be admitted to undergo for a surgery to remove the cyst. However because of the unexpected news dear loves, I freaked out *hehe* & I told the doctor with confidence ," Thank you doctor but I don't think that's necessary."hehehee :D Which of course later had made my husband laughed *but at the same time was a bit mad at me* for refusing to accept the treatment * as according to him for being such a diva as well".* hehehehe. The truth was dear loves, I was really2 scared because I have never undergone for any operations nor surgery in my entire life~ *Alhamdulillah* Thus, the thought of the doctor cutting my skin, flesh and inserting their tools inside my body had really frightened me and *yes* was a lil bit disturbing as well. hehe :D 

Anyhow, the doctor had also explained that there are basically 3types of cyst. The normal one is the fluid cyst which is actually common in many woman but it is unnoticeable as it won't cause any pain as well as it would shed away each time during the menstrual cycle comes :) The 2nd type would be the blood/bleeding cyst. This type of cyst would normally be painful and noticeable especially when it gets bigger dear ones~ :) The 3rd type of cyst would be hair & bones also known as the cancerous cyst~ Normally, cyst that are bigger than 5cm would have the tendency to become a twisted cyst as it would twist itself inside the fallopian tube causing the tube to be twisted as well which would result in making the fallopian tube to die off. As a result, the chances are sweethearts the 1side of the fallopian tube would need to be cut off and the woman would be left with only 1 side of it's fallopian tube. The doctor initially was unsure of which type of cyst I had *which was a bit worrying sweethearts*. Furthermore, the type of cyst could only be known once the surgery was done :) 

The main reason why I had initially decided not to undergo for the surgery dear  loves was because I had self-assumed that my cyst was just a fluid cyst  & would eventually shed away when my time of the month comes..Which of course sweeties, come to think of it, the doctor had explained that fluid cyst would not cause any pain but mine was a bit massive as the pain had caused me to almost not be able to walk. I am the type of lady whom would suffer from a really bad menstrual pain almost every month prior to getting it or normally during the 1st till the 3rd day of the cycle. Nevertheless, I have never thought it would be any big of a deal dear loves because as we all know that sickness & pain is one of ALLAH TAALA's ways in helping us (HIS servants) to forgive (& get rid) of our minor sin *In Shaa ALLAH* :) Therefore, on the 12 April 2013 I had went to work as normal yet still with the pain and in hope that it'll eventually go away. hehehe :) 

On the 14th of April 2013, at about 11pm the pain had become from bad to worst, hence my husband had took me immediately to the Emergency ward where they gave me 2 injections; Tramadol (Ultram) which is narcotic-like pain reliever used to treat moderate to severe pain while Maxolon helps to treat and prevent nausea and vomiting. This explains why my dearest sister Dr. Alia Abd Halim had told me that once we're admitted to the hospital, our body would be like a needle cushion. hehe :D :P Those injections had left me to become half awake and felt really drowsy almost for hours to help me feel less of the pain. There the doctor on-duty had called my gynecology doctor to seek for her advice and my gynecology told the doctor in-charged to do the necessaries also to keep her updated with my condition. The doctor in-charged had explained to me that my dearest gynecology had highly exhorted for me to undergo for the earlier mentioned surgery.

The doctor on-duty that night at the Emergency Room (ER) had furthermore explained to me that after the surgery, I would need to undergo for a 6months of hormone treatment where I would not be able to obtain my menstrual cycle for about 6months, which in another word means that I would also not be able to expect to get pregnant throughout that 6months dear loves :) Yes sweethearts, like any other married couples, throughout our 11months of marriage my husband & I have been hoping & really praying for us to soon obtain a baby of our own~ :) Truth to be told dear loves, I have been going through quite a rough emotional roller-coaster ride recently. I suppose those whom are married and still expecting their bundle of joy to arrive would truly understand what I have been facing :) Thus, when the doctor on-duty told us as such, I cried real badly & almost refused to accept their treatment to remove my cyst. But Alhamdulillah after my dearest husband had consoled me, I accepted this test given by ALLAH TA'ALAA to me & my husband with full hearted as I put my full faith in ALLAH TA'ALAA that HE knows what's best for me and I am confident that HE has a greater plan for my husband & I *In Shaa ALLAH* :)

At 11am on the 15th of April, the nurse took me from my room to the doctor's clinic. There, the doctor had done an ultrasound scan to view my cyst's condition. It was seen through the scan that my cyst had grew from 3.75cm to 5cm within just 3-4days and had caused my uterus to be inflamed real badly sweeties. Therefore she instructed the staff nurse in-charge to prepare for my surgery at 2pm on that day itself and also to provide me with another injection to help soothe the pain and my inflamed uterus :)  My husband had rushed from his office after receiving the news. However, the surgery had some delays and was finally performed at 6pm. In the operation theatre room, all that I could remember was when the anesthetic doctor whom had injected my 'water tube' which had caused me to feel even more drowsy than before and in a few seconds I fell into a deep sleep :) Though the surgery was supposed to be ready within 30-45minutes, yet due to some complication it was prolonged to 3hours and 30minutes dear loves~ :) The laparoscopy had completed at almost 10pm on that day. When the staff nurse had sent me back to my room, I was feeling half conscious. Nevertheless, I would always remember those faces of my dearest love whom had waited patiently for my surgery to end. My husband, my mama, my papa, my mak (my mama's eldest sister whom had taken care of me since small), and to my surprise my dearest friend Raudhah Ariff was there as well with her elder sister and niece. Masha'ALLAH~ those are the people whom I know I know that truly cares so much about me and they truly mean the world to me *Alhamdulillah* :)

The very next morning, my gynecologist had payed me a visit and explained to me that the complication during the surgery was due to the cyst that was stuck to my ovary and as well as my walls. She had confirmed that Alhamdulillah my cyst was a Left ovarian cyst, hemorrhagic cyst (grade 4)  blood type and not the other 2 critical ones mentioned earlier sweethearts :) However due to the complication, it had caused my fallopian tube to become really swollen and the fast-growing cyst had made my uterus to be really inflamed. Thus, my gynecologist had prescribed for me to undergo for 3 sessions of fallopian tube flushing to soothe my swollen fallopian tubes and inflamed uterus :) Alhamdulillah,  last 23rd of May'13 was my last flushing session and it was much less painful if compared to the 1st and especially the 2nd session dear loves~ :)

During my 1week stay at the hospital, I had met a few inspiring nurses amongst them was  Nisha (pic below) & sister mala. Her story of her pregnancy had proved to me that the impossible is always possible when we have our full faith in ALLAH SWT sweethearts~ To be honest dear loves, 1 of the main reasons why I had tried my best to stay away from facebook is because each time when I  view my homepage, I'd cry looking at my dearest friends whom are about the same age as I am, whom just conceived their 1st, 2nd or 3rd babies. Even looking at status sharing the wonderful news of their pregnancy was able to make my tears fall. I am truly happy for them dear ones, Honestly I am :) It's just that at those moments I somehow really prayed that I was in their shoes either holding my baby in my arms or sharing with people whom I care about the good news. But, I believe that ALLAH SWT has HIS Valid reasons for not making granting my du'a for a baby of our own just yet..In Shaa ALLAH, the time will come when ALLAH TA'ALAA knows is right for my husband & myself as the responsibility of having children is not actually as light as we might think.

Throughout my stay at the hospital and during my 1 month healing period, my dearest sister Alia had been the loving lady that she is by always helping me become stronger and realized so many things that had happened to me was a test from ALLAH SWT because HE Loves us & Knows that we are capable in facing these obstacles given by HIM. Mentioning her here makes me miss her even more right now. Hehehe. Anyhow, My dearest sister had shared with me the link below which was very helpful to me dear loves~ :) Trust me sweethearts, you won't regret watching the video by Mufti Menk - 'The Great Example of Patience'

You Tube Link : http://youtu.be/xtDh_k7k1DQ

Aside from my family members and husband, I was so fortunate that my dearest closest friends; Warda, Farah Amyra, Aliya, Nafeesa, Raudhah, Sakina, Aainaa, Bella, ChaCha and many more was there during almost every single step of my journey to help care & motivate me. Alhamdulillah~ :)

In Shaa ALLAH if time permits, I shall continue with a 2nd post to share more with regards to this journey of mine. Till then, I'd to share this piece of du'a with all you sweethearts. As'salammualaikum & Take Care dear loves ;)

"May the unmarried be blessed with spouses who will be the coolness of their eyes. 

May those getting married be granted bliss & success, joy & happiness. 

May those without children be blessed with offspring who will be the coolness of their eyes. 

May those with children be granted the ability to provide them with a good upbringing.

May our children be saved from all evil & calamity & be granted the the best of 

health & success in this life & the next. Aameen " Mufti Ismail Menk